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The Bachelor: Episode 16

Episode 16: The Finale!

  • We are in New Caledonia for the finale this season and it looks quite spectacular! Maybe sussing out potential bachelor in paradise locations? We are even promised a dramatic conclusion so hopefully we get some sort of drama
  • We spend some time for all three to contemplate their futures while they all stare into the ocean or a pool before we see the HB’s family. I wonder if they flew all 27 of his siblings out?
  • Thank god the family asks about Brooke! Because yes it was a blow to everyone when she left and the family are as upset as I am, especially the sister. He quickly brushes this aside and tries to convince us that Sophie and Brittany are just as good

Brittany meets the family

  • Ew she starts talking about her journey where everything happens for a reason and just to let it happen. Stop being so annoying Brittany unless you found $5 no-one wants to hear it
  • The sister pulls her away before we are bored to death with classic one liners where Brittany shares that the HB was made for her and she is completely falling in love with him. I feel like it’s all for show and once the cameras stop Brittany will just go back to being even more vanilla
  • However the HB then lets Brittany know that he really doesn’t know who he is going to choose and he is very confused by his feelings. I mean that is not ideal for the winner

Sophie meets the family

  • Loving Sophie’s dress and everything about her compared to Brittany, she just seems so much more natural and relaxed
  • The brother then steals her away and makes her cry about how strong her feelings are. He asks if Sophie loves the HB and she is smart enough to duck dive his question. I hope she wins
  • After meeting both girls the sister doesn’t think either one are the complete package for the HB and the rest of the family are not much more help with giving an answer. It’s because brooke was the complete package

 

Sophie’s final date:

  • Once again they embrace their wild side and go for a bit of a jet ski. Sophie has such a rockin bod and the scenery is seriously nice
  • They have a romantic picnic on the beach and Sophie shares that she is falling in love with the HB. Lucky we have the very uplifting music to signify what a momentous occasion this is

 

Brittany’s final date:

  • Our final helicopter for the season appears, for a person afraid of heights HB sure spends a lot of time in the sky
  • HB has just mentioned that he and Britt “are like bangers and mash – just go together,” I wonder who is the sausage in this scenario?
  • I hope somewhere in Australia people are taking shots every time Britt drops a love cliché… they will have passed out in the last 5 minutes and will now miss the end of the finale. Thanks Britt. She is in love with him though, managed to squeeze that in there.
  • Nick has finally responded to a woman. She is a complete package… BUT… is he about to dump her? I can feel that this is about to go off the rails fast. She has not been dumped but is now furious, nailed that HB
  • Britt has become the new Cass, so desperate for love. He is dumping you my dear, take it with some dignity.

 

 

The ending

  • Britt is dressed appropriately in a wedding dress, off to an absolute flyer
  • We have a ring ladies and gentlemen, we have a ring
  • I am currently having flashbacks to last year’s Bachelorette when poor Jarrod had to walk a marathon down the beach after he had been dumped. It does not seem this year will be anywhere near as humiliating, how disappointing
  • Sophie is first out of the car. This does not look good for her
  • HB opens his speech with “it’s been a hell of a journey.” Don’t we all know it, feels like the longest of my life. I miss the days of Vanessa Sunshine
  • Sophie takes the dumping like an absolute trooper, looks incredibly gorgeous even while crying. She is lovely about Britt, what a good person you are Sophie, you deserve better than the HB. He couldn’t even give you a reason why
  • On to contestant #2. Even in this moment the best HB can say is that he has developed strong feelings. We are hearing an incredibly similar speech to what Sophie got… is he dumping her too?
  • HE DID! CONTROVERSIAL! A double dumping has just occurred. Absolutely unbelievable. This is so awkward in her wedding dress
  • Brittany has figured it out. He picked no-one. She does not look happy. I would be sleeping with one eye open tonight HB. Wait until her Dad hears about this
  • Sophie still doesn’t know. Britt is going to tell her, this is such an emotional rollercoaster
  • Sophie is now absolutely raging too, both girls are giggling hysterically out of shock. They have decided it’s his loss, power to the women
  • HB is doing the humiliating walk along the beach. Serves you right, you dumped some absolute pearlers
  • The ads for Ali’s season are on repeat. Maybe HB should date her, I’m sure she will be single again by now. Unfortunately, you will all have to watch for yourselves, I cannot put myself through that singing shambles.

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